Happy New Year!

I said I would be back in January to continue my story and here we are in 2020. 

To follow up on immediate news about the Wonder Rocks articles and my sons Domestic Violence charges:

The charges were dropped in December after the pretrial. Other than that I have no details. To me, it just means that they weren't able to prove or disprove the claims, I'm guessing because of their intoxication. This was serious and dubious business on both their parts and very disturbing to me on every level. 
I do find a different result for myself as his mother and someone who knows him. Sometimes, something considered unrelated or insignificant by other's standards are most definitely the answer to the question. It was quite astonishing to me when the charges were dropped. Uncannily, however, it gave me all I needed to know. It gave me the insight to connect the dots between all of his past confusing and ambiguous conduct and what just happened.
 You will see as we resume my story that it is not usually the big things that bring major life changes i.e. choking or cheating or threatening or stealing, betrayals, crazy-making etc. It is the wisdom to see underneath the small things (consistent inconsistency's) that bring a person so close to the truth that it is undeniable. The pattern appears as if it was written down and handed to you. At this point he is relieved and full of pride because he thinks he won. He repeated the pattern that works for him. He is unquestionably confident in his ability to be convincing. This is the heart of his trick bag.
I do not see this as a win. It is another low point in the scheme of things which involves great sadness and disappointment. I see, through this, how behavior patterns repeat in predictable regularity when practiced by the same person in every situation. Their so-called successes, by using and reusing their same pattern, reveal what has been obscured by a skill of presenting a face of innocence and offering up the other person as the villain. I have history to back me up, years of it. I have also watched it in action without realizing what was being pulled off. This is a very cunning trait. I heard what other people have said about him (even though they left out any usable details for me to act on). I gave him the benefit of the doubt; remaining fiercely loyal and always giving him another chance over many years and his many relationships. Now, this latest transgression has illuminated his agenda and I can no longer do that. To watch a transgressor switch himself into the victim at somebody else's expense over and over again has been a heartbreaking realization for me. Yet, there is no denying it and so I give myself the right to take the road to freedom away from the chaos and duplicity I have endured for decades.. I believe he will do this again and each time the consequences will get a little tougher until some good ol' boy/ lawyer/ judge gets ahold of it. He will then be left with a life of good-for-nothing achievements on one hand and a pack of lies on the other hand, all tied together with the strings of addiction: The perfect storm from which he cannot escape. Is this what I wanted for my son? Not in a million years? This is a crisis of his own creation and we are merely witnesses watching from a distance as he self- destructs.
For me, this is where I draw the line. Time is up. Sad but true, Very, very true. Even when considering the genetic predispositions herein, I still have to separate myself from what brings worry, sadness and undue stresses into my life. I am stepping out of the circle of exploitation, overt and covert betrayal and life on the outskirts of toxic and ungrateful adult children into an appreciation for my life as it was before and beyond children and their disrespect. To think I was totally committed to raising such hedonistic, backstabbing children into adulthood and beyond while they willfully slaughtered with cruel intent (manipulative, hurtful and abusive) the parent-child bond! Now, it is broken and no longer exists. We have reached the point of no return.
As we go along in the story of my children and me resuming with the grade school years and my continuing marriage during that time, look for what seems like a non-infraction (no big deal, in their words) to become the true revelation of how these three people, my ex, my daughter and my son, are comfortable with less than the truth in most of their relationships, it is a second nature for them. Hindsight is so 20/20 in 2020.